


Needs

by KyLikesSandersSides



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Gen, Neurodivergent Logic | Logan Sanders, Neurodiversity, Non-Sexual Age Regression, agere, agere logan sanders, why isnt there a non sexual age regression tag, yeah i know theres nothing in these last three tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 22:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21417757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyLikesSandersSides/pseuds/KyLikesSandersSides
Summary: Logan doesn’t want to participate in Family Day but he feels like he has to. He does, and he gets overwhelmed from all the interaction and sensory cues, retreating to the bathroom during the movie and crying his feelings out.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 195





	Needs

**Author's Note:**

> core four and a thomas mention, logan-centric, crying, sensory overload, neurodivergent logan, happy ending (let me know if i should add certain tags in the comments)

Logan wasn’t having a good day.

He didn’t want to socialize but today was Family Day where the four of them would do stuff together like talk, watch movies, play games, and other activities. He had to. It was inexcusable, he needed to be included even if he wasn’t completely fit for it.

Being fit to socialize, of course, included not age regressing. That’s the opposite of what Logan wanted to do. He woke up and knew he needed to, he felt softer and smaller unintentionally. He wanted to stay in his room all day and play with toys with a caregiver, but he doesn’t know what they would think if he approached them. They might cast judgement, or even worse, use it against him and say that he shouldn’t be listened to because he’s not mature all the time.

It all started making him stressed with him in the kitchen, focusing hard on staying in adult-mode. No one was around, so in the case that he messed up, he would be safe from anyone thinking his irregular actions suspicious. He just wanted some orange juice (which was fine any other day but proved difficult), he set the carton on the counter and got a cup out of the cabinet and poured it. He was idly using muscle memory, and mixed up his subconscious thoughts, ending up putting the juice in the cabinet. Logan thankfully caught himself, thinking that if the others had found it they would ask why and question his functionality and reliability today.

He couldn’t have that. Internally, he might have felt unreliable and needed someone to rely on. Externally, however, he needed to look as competent as possible.

They quickly joined each other at the kitchen table, Roman already carrying games (Monopoly, CAH) while Virgil trailed behind carrying Sorry! and What Do You Meme?. As tiring as it was, the four had some fun time playing each game at least once before Roman threatened Virgil that he was going to beat his ass in Monopoly next time for sure. This warranted Virgil to challenge him after their game of Sorry!, so another round of Monopoly was played before they all helped make lunch.

Lunch was calm save for Virgil throwing grapes at Roman’s shoes so that he stepped on them when he stood up. The three of them commented that Logan seemed a little different and more quiet today, which he just wrote off as fatigue.

The next activity, that Patton picked out for this week, was karaoke. Logan immediately opted out, not having anywhere close the energy to effort his way through a song he didn’t have passion for. He did end up being jealous of Roman singing Ocean Man, though.

Then, finally came the movie. Virgil insisted that they each got their own blanket and sat next to each other. It was a boring movie that he couldn’t care less about, so he ended up thinking and staring at the carpet for his own entertainment. He reflected on the day he had, and confirmed himself an introvert. Logan found himself thinking about being in his room playing with his toys, wanting to be alone. It made him upset, he didn’t want to upset the others by not bonding with them, but he was very stressed about all of this in one day. He felt his breath quicken and chest move, heart race increasing adjacent to his upset-ness on the situation. The TV was too loud, and he could hear Roman chewing on his popcorn. The smell of lunch still bothered him, and he wanted the lights off. It was suddenly too hot with the blanket, he wanted to rip it off but then that would gain attention to him and the tears in his eyes-

Oh no. Logan realized he was experiencing a sensory overload episode. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he tried wiping them away only to have them come back. His eyes wouldn’t stop, and he knew why. He was overly stressed from socializing and showing it in the only way his body could force him to, tears.

He needed to find a way out of this and fast. Logan quickly stood and dashed to the bathroom, the others giving a half-glance as they realized he must not have been leaving permanently.

It was awful, the bathroom was cold and he tried not to sob loudly, only panting, before he remembered he could soundproof rooms. With a snap he’s almost positive he did so (it was hard to focus on it, he isn’t completely sure he succeeded). He wrapped his arms around himself, arms crossed and hands on the opposite shoulders. Then he started wailing all to high hell. Logan cringed at his own cries, he definitely sounded like he was in another mental state, like an infant. And he wasn’t an infant, he reassured himself, he was probably on the verge of regressing to four or so. That’s where he usually ended up anyways. He noticed he was idly rocking back and forth, when did he start doing that? He’s never done that before.

A moment later, he let himself scream as loud as he could, trusting his soundproofing. It frustrated him to no end how they functioned differently than he did, and he felt like the odd one out instead of Virgil. It also made him upset that he felt like he had to repress the traits of someone who was neurodivergent and especially an age regressor out of fear of not being taken seriously.

Slowly, his wails and loud cries turns into low whimpers. Logan listened closely to see if he could hear them after calming down a bit (he was still hiccuping) and realized he couldn’t hear the TV anymore. He assumed he subconsciously blocked out all sound passing through from either side of the door. He silently thanked his subconscious for eliminating that sensory input.

Standing up off the toilet, he steeled himself for the rest of the night, desperately not wanting to leave. But he couldn’t, he had to uphold his social reputation with the others so they thought he was normal and could handle what Thomas could handle.

He opened the door. Roman was standing worriedly to his left, Patton (crying) to the right, and Virgil holding a screw driver between them.

Logan was shocked. Why were they there? Did he accidentally-

“Logan?” Roman said, in a tone of softness he’s never heard before from him, “what’s the matter?”

He coughed, and stumbled over his words, “I uh, I um. I have sensory overload episode.” and that was the only way he could explain it, in a broken voice and a sentence that wasn’t correct. Why didn’t he just say ‘had’ or 'episodes’? In truth, he couldn’t say that he needed someone to take care of him because he felt embarrassed and was afraid of judgement.

Patton had such a sad, empathetic look on his face as he wiped his own tears away and sniffled, “Lo, I know you meant to soundproof the bathroom, but we heard. It didn’t sound like an adult’s cries, and I wanted so badly to go in there and comfort you but you barricaded yourself. Virgil couldn’t get the screws off the handle.” Ah, so that’s what the screwdriver was for. “I want you to know you can ALWAYS have comfort, have love, have affection no matter how you are! We don’t care if you sometimes act younger, or act different than we do, that’s why we love you! You’re you, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Patton finished, his passionate statement reaching and sinking into Logan’s head like a sponge.

More tears somehow found their way to Logan’s eyes, not even attempting to wipe them. “I need…”

Virgil continued off of his statement, sounding gentle, “You need someone to look after you sometimes?” Logan nodded. Virgil kept going, “You need go be alone sometimes because you lose energy while socializing?” He nodded again. “What do you need right now?” Virgil calmly asked.

“No movie, less lights. A chewy,” Logan was amazed at how everyone took it, even saying it was okay to regress and be more like himself and comfortable. He was even impressed with himself for telling them all this, but he figured that was just the age regression effect since at any other time, he would only trust one of them at a time. He let himself use a smaller voice that felt better to him when in use. “cuddles. Comfort words.”

The three smiled softly at him, Patton asking, “Can I give you a hug right now? It’s okay if not-”

“Yes!” Logan interrupted, noticing he was feeling way lonelier than he thought he was. “Please, all of you.”

Virgil and Roman let out 'aww’s at that as Patton stepped forward, wiping Logan’s eyes first, and then embraced him. Logan never felt more elated and okay for once. Virgil and Roman got their turns hugging their precious nerd, all of them agreeing to walk back to the couch, cuddle and relax with the lights off just for Logan.

The three sit before Logan does as he waits for the optimal cuddle arrangement. Patton lets him sprawl over his lap (as well as the other’s laps, his feet near Roman and his head balanced between Patton and Virgil’s thighs), with Virgil running his hands across his hair and head gently.

Roman summons a perfect chewy (one that was shaped like an elongated Lego piece with a string attached so it could hang from his neck) and hands it to him. Logan immediately puts it in his mouth.

They all whispered comforting words to him as he intertwined his hands with one of Patton’s and Roman’s, a wonderful comfort that helped him down from his overload. He felt so loved.


End file.
